I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
