so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
