you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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