drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
