Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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