Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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