Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
