FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
