You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
