i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
