whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
