haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
we're so committed to being not committed
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
