I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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