You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I don't think brook has ever known best
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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