Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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