Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
