What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
