mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
