it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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