you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
