hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
