Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
