i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
