Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Randomize
