they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just gargled with NyQuil
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
