No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
