I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
