also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
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