No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
