The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
