Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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