Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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