I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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