you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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