I want to make a zoo with you.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
