Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
