My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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