hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
