Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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