You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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