I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
