The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
