I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
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