About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my shit smells like andre
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
