Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
