And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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