I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
