Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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