I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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