Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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