the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
my liver is dry heaving
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
